Numb.

The most uncomfortable feeling in the world, when you have cut yourself from all feeling. Now I have eventually put myself in that place once again, and there's almost no turning back. The possibility of getting my hopes up again is slim to none, and I don't see it happening any time soon. He kissed my forehead last night, and my heart jumped. I closed my eyes slowly and enjoyed the second he got to touch me before he left me again. He was right, he is always letting me down, over and over again. And it hurts because even if I wanted to make things better between us, I don't know if I would have the strength.

I will get myself going, and my hopes as well. But I am always let down, every single time. I can't help but notice that every time he has broken my heart it's been over myspace, except maybe once. And don't you think that if it should work it would've by now? Because usually they say you will find someone and realize why all the other times didn't work out. Well our times have never worked out. And what should I expect anymore? I love him, I truly do. And it hurts when he turns away from me... he's done it many times too far. It's not about what he thinks about me anymore or what he wants. It's about whether this would ever work out again. Looking at our unstable statistics, I doubt a full strong relationship would be possible.

I doubt anything anymore. And I am just hopeless, as always.