Another day passing.

So here I sit, on the laptop again. I am so unbelievably bored and I don't know what to do with myself. The cold eery music has seemed to be eating at my brain in these past few hours, and the minutes are passing by feverishly slow.

I can't help myself but be completely jealous of Josh and Hannah right now. Because at this very moment, he is hanging out with her happily, enjoying himself I am sure. Along with Hannah comes her best friend, Nicole. The name just dreads me- and again I get that hot furious feeling flooding through my chest as I imagine her beautiful smile. I have stopped caring on whether or not he claims to have feelings for her, I don't trust her or any other girl he sees. I have yet to decide what I am going to do about my jealousy problem. But whatever I do will probably take lots of time, and I barely have the patience. I try as hard as possible to avoid situations like these, tell myself I shouldn't care so much. And I try convincing myself that I don't need to have so many feelings for him.

After all, he isn't even my boyfriend. It's just a word really, and maybe I should ignore that. But we aren't as one anymore. I should let him go off and flirt with any amount of girls that he wants and not get so completely envious of them. He has such a great era about him that girls just want to get close to, and that's what I'm afraid of.

But I am saying to myself now,
Don't be so jealous.
Don't worry so much. He will be true to you.
And no matter what those other girls think of him, he's going to be faithful.

It's simply ridiculous. I wonder where this will go. If we're not "together" but we're not apart, and we act as though we are in fact together, what should I tell myself? Honestly.

A poem to describe him:

His iridescent eyes glow,
brown and glorious as the sun.
His eyebrows are expressive, dark and strong.
His delightful smile only shows
by a slight raise at the corner of his lips
But even so...
it is unbelievably beautiful.

His body is unwillingly robust,
Showing his dark past without purpose.
The way he swings his legs
and lifts his feet which much purpose
Like a gladiator, graceful and ready.

He is my knight in shining armor.
Day in and day out I walk honorably by his side.
He is rattling, so great and handsome
And I am in love with him.


Now that makes me feel a little better.
Here I go again, off to see what happens.